YOU ARE STILL IN THIS GAME

Today I was listening to a CD of mine while in the car.
(You have a copy of it by the way.)
First I’d like to say that I love good lyrics.
Some music has them and many do not.
But this CD is full of the best.

I salute you for your courage
I applaud your perseverance
I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces

I support you in your trusting
I commend you for your wisdom
I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces

And for some reason the mood of the song reminded me of you…
I find myself thinking of you more and more lately. And so I write this for you.

However, I have decided to tell you through this channel in hopes that you will assume I am talking to someone other than yourself. For reasons that I am not sure about.
I cannot express in words what I think when thoughts of you enter my mind.
I am so filled with joy and peace when memories glide through my thoughts.I look up to you; you are my true superior in every way. Your ability to love; your understanding of me surpasses my own. You are still a better bowler than I. I am not so sure anymore if I hurt you more that I hurt myself when I chose someone over you. My heart still aches and burns in regret for those times long past. Sometimes they say I like F.M. for more reasons than I realize. And I agree. I know I love their music for what it is, but also because of whom I think of when I listen to them. And I know I am just going to frustrate you when you read this. I realize that. And I timidly accept it. Some things must be said. I was once dishonest with you. And it is eating me up inside, so this is my confession. You read something that I wrote while you were going out with your cuddle-buddy. It relit something deep within you, yet it also confused you. It was on your mind for days on end. You even spoke to BassChik about your concern. You weren’t sure how to respond or how to feel about my declaration. That is when I told you it was old, that I wrote it back when I chose over you. However that was NOT the case. I wrote it the same day that I posted it. and dang, it was as pure as gold and as true as anything. Now don’t freak out on me, it’s not true today. But that is only because I am getting really good at suppressing my feelings...